Nowadays being a developer on LinkedIn is like being a hot chick on a dating site. Everybody wants to connect 🙂 Not that I’m complaining, but sometimes it becomes a bit overwhelming and annoying, especially when the recruiters don’t know what they’re doing and they’re wasting my time.
I understand that headhunting is a tough job as working with people is generally hard and developers tend to be arrogant know-it-alls with a God complex, but still, I’m sick of having my inbox filled with nonsense. I make a habit of answering to emails, but sometimes I receive an email that’s so stupid that I just click “Mark as spam” instantly. And I’m not the only one doing that.
Here are a couple of guidelines that might help.
Shots in the dark suck
Read my profile before contacting me! If a keyword or technology is not listed on my LinkedIn profile is because I have never worked with that technology. Ever. Don’t contact me regarding it. It will just land your email in my spambox.
Also, the skill set I have now is the result of years of hard work and I will not throw it away and start over with some exotic technology just because you’re offering me a position in a startup in some south american village that nobody’s heard of.
Salary matters! A lot…
I know that in today’s “cool” world, talks about salary are seen as…outdated and most recruiters offer a “cool environment with a young team working on global projects”, which is awesome, but still, at the end of the month I have a rent and a sizeable pile of bills to pay. And there’s no way I can do that with a “cool working environment” or “great opportunity”. Also, I’m pretty sure that my landlord will kick me out if instead of a wire transfer, at the end of the month I email him a picture from our latest team building event.
Would you consider a CV that goes like this:
Awesome developer, skilled in a variety of technologies and programming languages, with years of experience working in some really cool companies and on large projects with lots and lots of users!
No!? Then why should I consider a job offer that reads the same way?
Some things are mutually exclusive!
And I’m smart enough to know what those are. You can’t have a young team with 25 years of experience. Unless you somehow brand 50 somethings as young and words just have arbitrary meanings, in which case, please use the CV I posted above. Sure I’ll join!
Nobody quits one’s job and moves to a different country for a 3 months contract
Seriously! Just look for people who are already in that area. You’re wasting everyone’s time.
Don’t take notes if you can’t read your own handwriting afterwards
I have literally received one email asking for knowledge of “MySOL” and “Orade” and another one for “WorldPress”. Seriously? And you’re an IT recruiter? Have a person with knowledge in that field review the message before sending it. Or at least, google the names of the technologies in question. Their autocorrect feature should give you a hint that you’re asking for non-existing technologies.
Keep it real
This is how most job ads sound nowadays:
We’re looking for a person with more than 100 years of experience in software development, coding everything from BIOSes to cloud applications, knowledge of all past, present and future operating systems and setting up secure networks. The applicant must also be able to juggle up to twenty balls and read hieroglyphs, be fluent in Swahili and dance like Michael Jackson (especially moonwalking – nice to have at corporate Christmas parties).
Sure, just email email@example.com.
Don’t spell my name wrong
Again…dude! If you can’t be bothered to at least copy paste my name, don’t expect me to answer. I’m sure that at some point “Todor” will send you his CV.
Just don’t lose faith!
Most important: don’t assume that my job sucks
This is the worst. Don’t assume that I sit in a small cubicle all day long doing the same boring stuff over and over again waiting for you, my headhunting messiah to deliver me from evil into an office with air conditioning. Trust me: it’s never the case! And it’s really insulting to assume that it is.
In hope of a cleaner inbox, yours truly “Todor” 🙂